More West Indian Humour (Trinidad)

Yuh know yuh is a trini if...

..you eat fries often with a FORK, ketchup and mustard.
..On at least one occasion you have been told that you have a cold in some part of your anatomy other than your head or chest, had a flu virus named after something popular with the times eg. The Toro-toro cold.
..despite lack of interest, someone has tried to convince you of the benefits of taking a purge, or becoming 'saved' by some religion.
..no matter how old you are, you call your parents mummy and daddy.
..you sometimes call fries, chips.
..you love salt prunes and 'chinee mango'.
..you know the meaning of "dahl", "channa", "anchar", "kurma" and "buss-up-shot".
..you've called someone (or been called) chunkalunks, thick ting, 'family'(even if she's not remotely related to you!),doo doo, breds, horse, partner.
..you know what a maxi-taxi is.
..you know a "lime" is not always referring to fruit.
..you've eaten wild meat at some time: 'guana, lappe, 'gouti, tattoo, matte, deer etc.
..you call a friend's mother "auntie" and their father "uncle" even though they are not related to you.
..you love soca.
..you know entire parang songs in perfect Spanish, word for word every Christmas, but cannot speak a word of conversational Spanish to save your life.
..you know how to RAMAJAY and DINGOLAY.
..you can call your fellow country man by an ethnic name fondly and it would be okay. eg: darkie, reds, dougs, chinee-man, creole, red-man, white-boy,
..you know how to 'dig a horrors'.
..you know how to'fix yuh mix'.
..you doh like 'chain-up talk','ole talk' or 'mamaguy'.
..you know how to be a 'falcon' and 'maco'.
..you know of at least one person who gets up at 4 am to listen to cricket on the radio in Australia, India or wherever.
..you feel cold when it's 25 degrees celsius.
..you know the taste of solo Apple J.
..you use bitters in any and every thing.
..you know that Kiss is the name of a bread label.
..your cupboards are full of corned beef, red beans, vienna sausage, pepper sauce, baked beans and a dry coconut for the pelau.
..you tell the host "good night" when you arrive at someone's house in the evening and you probably do it whenever you answer the phone too.
..you know all about weave-on, braiding, dry-curl, gerri-curl, pressing and relaxing regardless of your ethnic origin.
..you know what a washy-kong is.
..you can remember the days when the 'dollar wine' was it and Blue Boy ruled the Road March.
..you still wonder if a '24- hour lizard' will stick to you and have to be removed with a hot iron.
..you love Ato Boldon.
..you know who Miss Jean is.
..and you know you are a TRINI if you really love the place you call home---Trinidad!!!!
..you refer to all powdered cleaning agents as VIM.
..you refer to all salt crackers as "crix".
..you call hard candies "sweeties".
..you know the meaning of the word,"obzokie".
..you go to house 'limes' for the food.
..you're the one standing next to plenty luggage and boxes in the airport.
..you greet someone with a "bounce" on the fist.
..you nod your head upwards to greet someone and sideways if the joke stale.
..you use an umbrella for shade on hot days and never have one when it's raining.
..you say "boy" at the beginning of a sentence.
..your conversations are inflected with expressions like, "Ent?" and "fuh real?"
..you know how to wine!
..you hang a rosary on your car rearview mirror even if you're not Catholic.
..you put ketchup and/or pepper sauce on your pizza.
..you make a drink from peanut butter and even ice-cream but you never eat it with jelly on your bread.
..you wash and re-use plastic and styrofoam cups..to go with the plastic take-out spoons and forks cutlery set in the draw.
..you have shares in Kool-Aid.
..the word 'storm' to you is used as a verb and has nothing to do with the weather.
..you adore Ms.Universe '98.
..you put ice in your beer.
..you bring home left over food from any function and any party.
..you think a "beer is a Carib".
..you believe DuMaurier is doing it your way.
..you say,"I jus'dey" to mean I'm fine.
..you wash the 'wares' after having dinner.
..you call a quarter a "shilling" when this really means 24 cents.
..you know what a skettel is.
..you know what it means to be 'horned'.
..you know that blue soap makes white clothes whiter.
..you have at least one relative living in England, Canada or the US.
..you either see, speak to, lime with or hear about at least one of your "ex's" regularly.
..you have cancelled plans because of rain even when it's going to be indoors.
..Rain is also a legitimate reason to miss work at home in Trinidad....
..a rubber is an eraser.
..you are able to recite at least one (or several)line(s) from Sesame Street.
..you have been to several parties where you have seen the sun rise.
..you have missed work because of going to fetes.
..you know someone with a gold tooth or several.
..you know how to give a 'cut-eye'.
..you still give people an occasional 'meggie'.
..you can tell lots of stale jokes from the collection you've gathered over the years through friends and relatives.
..you use baby powder.
..you use methylated spirits to clean your skin sometimes.
..you know at least one person with their name on either their belt buckle, ear-ring or their chain pendant.

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