TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and Frog legs.
4. If theres a war, you can surrender really early and hope either the Americans or British bail your ass out yet again.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
7. Allow Nazis to march up and down your most famous street humiliating our sense of national pride.
8. You curse the nations that liberated you, while kissing Nazi ass.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You can invent a new public holiday every year.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy."
10. With very little effort you can annoy the French!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah, doo-dah.
2. Warm beer.
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
9. Teeth will rot out of your head before age 20.
10. Your country is responsible for more brutal, senseless killings and military takeovers than any other nation in history.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Honesty.
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles.
9. Francisco Franco is still DEAD!
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
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10. Able to apologize to anyone.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
1. Chicken Vindalu.
2. Lamb Passanda.
3. Onion Bhaji.
4. Bombay Potatoe.
5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
6. Rogan Josh.
7. Popadoms.
8. Chisken Dopiaza.
9. Meat Boona.
10. Gandhi.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
1. Guinness.
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend you can't have sex with a condom on.
6. You've blown up the Queen's horses!
7. Old Bushmills.
8. Stew.
9. More Guiness.
10. Eating stew and drinking guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
1. It beats being French!
2. Back bacon!
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Kids in the Hall, SCTV and most original Saturday Night Live alumni are fellow Canadians.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
7. Dudley Dooright - the Canadian Mountie.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
9. Own-an-eskimo scheme.
10. Bob and Doug McKenzie!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard no civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Victoria Bitter.
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Manly.
7. Other beaches.
8. The weather.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.