Questionable Theories

Results of a contest for "theories"

GRAND PRIZE WINNER

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is

dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down.

I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will

hover, spinning inches above the ground . With a giant buttered cat array, a

high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

RUNNER-UP #1:

If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup

trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of

highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary

works in Braille.

RUNNER-UP #2:

Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your

eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other

people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

RUNNER-UP #3:

Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no

alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a

faster rate.

RUNNER-UP #4:

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a

figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the

body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.