Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - did it ever happen??

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.

Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.

Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead. Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female.

Recent tests have shown that these cells are removed from the communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and develop into male sexual organs.

If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to speak; and some of their cards are in their shorts.

This difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in various ways. Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into walls. Little girls will think about doing things before taking any action. Little boys will just punch or kick something and will look surprised if someone asks them why they just punched their little brother who was half asleep and looking the other way.

This basic cognitive difference continues to grow until puberty, when the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins. After puberty, not only the size of the male and female brains differ, but the center of thought also differs. Women think with their heads. Male thoughts often originate lower in their bodies where their ex-brain cells reside. Of course, the size of this problem varies from man to man.

In some men only a small number of brain cells migrate and they are left with nearly full mental capacity but they tend to be rather dull, sexually speaking. Such men are known in medical terms as "Republicans".

Other men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are medically referred to as "Democrats". A small number of men suffer massive brain cell migration to their groins. These men are usually referred to as....."Mr. President".