This is a contribution from our friend and neighbour Mike Browning -

Irish plane landing

Paddy & Seamus are flying a plane, as they approached the Dublin airfield, the tower heard:

PILOT - Bejeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy

PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings I ever did, Shamus.

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !!

PILOT - Royt, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engines in reverse !!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!

PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down full !!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat too, Paddy !!

PILOT - An den stomp an der brakes as hard as ye can an pray ta de Holy Mudder a Gad !!!

CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, Paddy, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I can.

So, as the wheels touched the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stomped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy Mother with all of his soul.

The brakes screeched, the tires squealed, and there was smoke everywhere.
But, to the relief of all the passengers, as they untangled themselves from the overhead baggage and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to a stop just a few meters from the end of the runway!!!

As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy looked out of the window and said to Shamus, "Dat has gat ta be deshartist fookin runway in de world!"

Shamus replied, "Yes, Paddy, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"

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