1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj.
 
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
 
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n.
 
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least 
a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it 
back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
 
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.
 
To sterilize the sweet you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming 
this will somehow 'remove' all the germs. (Notice that this only happens with 
Sweets. Rarely have I ever seen it done with Broccoli)
 
4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n.
 
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater or 
airplane.
 
5. FRUST (frust) n.
 
The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep 
backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and 
sweep it under the rug.
 
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n.
 
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has 
to resort to the 'illegal' side.
 
7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n.
 
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking 
around asking diners if they want ground pepper. (Also the restaurant 
employee most prone to develop carpel tunnel
 
syndrome.)
 
 
8 PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
 
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling 
just as they answer.
 
9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n.
 
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
 
10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
 
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it 
up, even when you're only six inches away.

 

 


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