Abdicate -- v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash -- n., a rapidly receding hairline.
Bustard -- n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
Carcinoma -- n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Circumvent -- n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Coffee -- n., a person who is coughed upon.
Esplanade -- v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted -- adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence -- n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Gargoyle -- n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Lymph -- v., to walk with a lisp.
Marionettes -- n., residents of Washington who have been jerked around by the mayor.
Negligent -- adj., describes a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Oyster -- n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Rectitude -- n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Semantics -- n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.
Testicle -- n., a humorous question to an exam.
Willy-nilly -- adj., impotent.