- middle aged couple
- retired couple
- newly wed couple 

all move to the same village

They go to see the parish priest and ask to join the local church congregation. The priest replies that their church has special rules and each couple must go away for three weeks and practise total abstinence. If they succeed they will be welcomed into the congregation.

Three weeks later they return to see the priest.

retired couple: "well vicar we don't really do it very much any more, we did get a little urge after about two and a half weeks but we had fortunately taken the precaution of flushing all the viagra down the loo, so we have passed the abstinence test."
vicar: "congratulations welcome to our congregation"

middle aged couple: "well vicar, the first week was ok, we just kept busy and tried to think about other things. in the second week it started to get a little difficult so we moved into separate bedrooms. the third week was a nightmare, we took it in turns to sleep at the hotel but we have managed to hold off and we have passed the abstinence test"
vicar: "congratulations welcome to our congregation"

newly wed couple, the husband says: "well vicar, it was a nightmare, I did my best to keep my hands off my wife but the urge was too strong for me, just a few hours after we left you last time, she bent over to pick up a can of beans and I couldn't resist, we had passionate sex there and then. I'm sorry we haven't passed your abstinence test"
vicar: "well I'm afraid you will not be welcome in our congregation"
newly wed couple, the wife says: "we not welcome in Tesco's* any more either"

*Tesco's is a supermarket chain like Wal-Mart in the US

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